我不配
作词:方文山 作曲:周杰伦

这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去

你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里

电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉 已经不对 我努力在挽回
一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协
是我忽略 你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对 我最后才了解
一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累
你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配

I was singing this song in KTV yesterday. And I am watching the MTV intendly and I almost choke as I found the scenes quite touching.

It's about Jay Chow being a celebrity and his girlfriend who is not. He has to keep their relationship a secret and they have to be always mindful of the public knowing.

----
When he emerged from the building and lots of fans are outside, he makes a simple wave gesture to them. There's 1 girl in the crowd and she's his girlfriend.

When they go watch a movie, they had to sit a few seats apart.

When he goes meet her, he has to put on a face mask so that he's not easily recognizable.

When he's spotted, she has to quickly walk away.

When he's in a radio show, and he say, "Hi, I am Jay Chow. Goodnight everybody", the girlfriend will be listening to it and say goodnight to the radio.

He wins some music award, the girlfriend is so happy that she jumps up and down. On her sofa, in front of the tv, at home.

They were having a romantic dinner in some posh restaurant, and he have his face mask on.

He removed the face mask, and is recognized soon and they have to quickly make their getaway.
----

The girl is such a poor thing. When I see her cheering so happily in front of the TV when Jay won the award, I almost teared. A little bit exaggerated there, but you get the idea.

The mtv ends with the girl leaving Jay a note and left. A sad ending. But I would prefer the mtv to have girl to continue be the sad woman behind Jay though. That is even more sad and would have immortalize the character.

Link

Why are Singaporeans like me not treated as considerately as such scholars? My study loan took five years to pay off after I started working. The China scholars receive financial support, a free education and start their working lives debt free. Their six-year bond is seen as a contribution to Singapore.

While I am not against getting FT, why are we bending backwards for them when they are not better than our own people. People who have to go through National Service and stuff, are the 1 hurt in the process. Regarding loss of job opportunities, I can accept. I can fight them on a equal platform. But it's ridiculous if I am fighting with an disadvantage.

Another troubling things I heard is that a lot of the FT on scholarship here are offered citizenship. Seems like citizenship are given quite freely. A foreign married couple can apply for citizenship for 1 person and buy HDB. Something that locals cannot do. We have to at least marry a PR then we can buy HDB. I wonder how true this is.

Right or wrong

I have a friend, Sandy. I know her through another friend Howard. Howard has been complaining to me that Sandy is making demands on him like a girldfriend though he don't see her as 1. I don't see much of it as it's their matter, not mine. Anyway, I also don't know if it's he reads too much into things or Sandy got the wrong idea.

Until 1 day, Sandy came to me. She said that she has always cared very much for Howard. For the past year, she had been receiving very confusing signals. He is sometimes very nice to her and sometimes very cold. She don't know how he feels about her and wants to talk to him about it but he has been ignoring her for the past few days. She feels she has to settle the issue before she left on a oversea assignment a few days later.

So I told her that Howard doesn't really like her. Few hours later, she told me she has made things clear with Howard. I was a bit surprised by how fast things turns out, but it's all for the better I thought.

The next day, I received a message from Howard. He asked if I said something I shouldn't to Sandy. I could have lied to him and say I didn't, but I chose the truth. He told me Sandy wants to cut all ties with him. Sandy said she never mentioned anything about cutting all ties.

He also blames me for telling Sandy things that he told me in confidence. He is fine with Sandy's decision, but he is angry that it happens because I have a hand in it.

If I am a bad person, it can happen by itself without your presense

Well, maybe I was wrong in divulging his secrets. But his secrets is causing somebody grieve. And will cause more grief to that person if I did not tell it to her. And she asked me in the first place. I did not go volunteer the info. Between the 2 evils, I chosed what I think is the lesser evil.

By saying those things to Sandy, I may have cement a reputation of not being able to keep secrets. By writing in this blog, I am broadcasting this fact. I wonder if I will have less friends in the future, but I still feel what I did is the right thing.

If there is a girl who like me that I don't like, I would be more concerned about how to let her know it as soon as possible than blaming people for telling her that. I wouldn't have behaved like nothing happen. Even if I never indicate to the girl I like her, by being aware of her feelings and not clearing things up, I'm already leading her on. And that to me is not acceptable. Even if I am wrong about her feelings, the embarassment is worth the risk.