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I have a friend. Let's call her Esther. I don't want to give her real name this time as this article is not speaking well of her. :P
She is nearing 30, but she need to be home before midnight. There's 2 issues here. The first is that, if she goes home late, she'll be reprimanded by her parents. This is because her mum will wait for her till she come home. So the later that she come home, the less that her mum sleep. In addition to that, her mum is worried about her. She says that parents will always view their child as children no matter what the age. They'll always be worried about them. So she tried as much as possible to be a good girl and go home early. She cannot stay, out before seeking her parents permission, which is always accompanied by a solid reason.
While her filial piety is admirable, I think she's doing it the wrong way. I feel should make her parents realize that she's no longer a small kid and that she's capable of looking after herself. Her parents have to stop waiting for her at night and not control the time that she should come home. If she wants to stay out, for whatever reason, they should trust her to not get into trouble. Even if she did, they should accept that she's her own girl now. Respect her decision on how she wants to run her life. She has to make her parents realize that.
Of course, I don't mean for her to be out late every night. It's her freedom that is the issue here. And also, it's not good for her parents to wait for her. They should be sleeping when it's time to sleep. By being a good girl now, she is actually depriving her mum of a good night's sleep. I am all for yelling at her mum for now if it makes her get the idea. It may be rude, but it's for her mum good. so it's justified.
The second is that her mum cooks her dinner everyday. And she has to finish them. Or else it's a waste of money and effort. So when she are with friends for dinner, she won't eat. She'll wait till she's home and then eat the food that her mum prepared for her. If she went home at 1am, she have her dinner at 1am. There is 2 problems here. Having a heavy meal before bed time is not a healthy thing. This may cause as to gain weight and more importantly, it makes our body work to digest our food when it should be resting during sleep. And when she have her dinner at such a weird time, it makes her body confused about her eating habits. Another bad thing. It's good to be appreciative of your parents. But doing it at the expense of your own body is simply wrong. I am sure the parents don't want that, though they may not understand the concept of it's bad having dinner at 1 am.
I feel she should just have her dinner as usual when she's out. And not take the food that her mum prepared for her. It's a waste, no doubt. But after a few times, she probably won't cook for her when she say she's out. This is the right way to prevent her mother's efforts from going ot waste. That is to make her make unnecessary efforts.
She is nearing 30, but she need to be home before midnight. There's 2 issues here. The first is that, if she goes home late, she'll be reprimanded by her parents. This is because her mum will wait for her till she come home. So the later that she come home, the less that her mum sleep. In addition to that, her mum is worried about her. She says that parents will always view their child as children no matter what the age. They'll always be worried about them. So she tried as much as possible to be a good girl and go home early. She cannot stay, out before seeking her parents permission, which is always accompanied by a solid reason.
While her filial piety is admirable, I think she's doing it the wrong way. I feel should make her parents realize that she's no longer a small kid and that she's capable of looking after herself. Her parents have to stop waiting for her at night and not control the time that she should come home. If she wants to stay out, for whatever reason, they should trust her to not get into trouble. Even if she did, they should accept that she's her own girl now. Respect her decision on how she wants to run her life. She has to make her parents realize that.
Of course, I don't mean for her to be out late every night. It's her freedom that is the issue here. And also, it's not good for her parents to wait for her. They should be sleeping when it's time to sleep. By being a good girl now, she is actually depriving her mum of a good night's sleep. I am all for yelling at her mum for now if it makes her get the idea. It may be rude, but it's for her mum good. so it's justified.
The second is that her mum cooks her dinner everyday. And she has to finish them. Or else it's a waste of money and effort. So when she are with friends for dinner, she won't eat. She'll wait till she's home and then eat the food that her mum prepared for her. If she went home at 1am, she have her dinner at 1am. There is 2 problems here. Having a heavy meal before bed time is not a healthy thing. This may cause as to gain weight and more importantly, it makes our body work to digest our food when it should be resting during sleep. And when she have her dinner at such a weird time, it makes her body confused about her eating habits. Another bad thing. It's good to be appreciative of your parents. But doing it at the expense of your own body is simply wrong. I am sure the parents don't want that, though they may not understand the concept of it's bad having dinner at 1 am.
I feel she should just have her dinner as usual when she's out. And not take the food that her mum prepared for her. It's a waste, no doubt. But after a few times, she probably won't cook for her when she say she's out. This is the right way to prevent her mother's efforts from going ot waste. That is to make her make unnecessary efforts.
8/05/2007 07:13:00 AM
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can i make the effort to go and eat then. solve all issues. :)
What a narrow view on things. Wait till you are a parent.
Meals take time to prepare and ingredients planned for weekly meals need to be bought way in advance. Or they spoil and waste if not consumed.
If this ger really doesn't want to eat at home then find, have a talk and don't eat at home, period.
My guess is, she wants the best of both worlds. For there is nothing more wholesome then home cooked food.
I still have my dinner at 2,3 or 5am even after partying into the wee hours. Why? Well I know my mother spend time and effort to cook for me.
As for waiting up late in the night for her to return, there is every reason to be worried. She may be 30, but can you guarantee her safety when she returns late in the night? Till the day she is accompanied by a knight or a mother will she be deemed an adult.
Till then, go stuff your narrow minded post up your bung hole.
I am in 2 minds on replying here or in my blog. Either way, I doubt the rude visitor will come and read.
He accuses me of being narrow, but who is the 1 with the narrow view.
Food is wasted if not consume. I've mentioned in my article. If you skip your dinner, because you want to eat the dinner your mum cooked for you at 1 am, you are doing harm to your body. You save the food, but you waste your body. Go figure which cost more. In addition, having dinner so near to your bedtime means you have to exercise more to get rid of the fats.
There is nothing more wholesome then home cooked food I agree. But if you can't be home on time to eat it, then don't have it cooked.
Our mum has spend time and effort to cook for us. Be home on time to eat it, or make sure she don't cook it.
Ad for being home late. Danger will happen to anyone regardless if your age. But she has to be responsible for herself. I can't be responsible for her, neither should her parents. She decide on the time she wants to be home. She decides on how to get home safely. How long should she be protected under the parents umbrella. I am not saying she should go home late everyday. Just that she be allowed the freedom to make the choice when needed. A worried parent who can't sleep will limit that freedom. After all, fillial children shouldn't make their parents lose too much sleep. What I'm really suggesting is that to the parent trust her that little bit more and let her live her life the way she wants to.
Stop whining and marry her. That will definitely make her parents sleep peacefully. Even gahmen will be happy.
If you are a guy, then you go marry her. Since you share the same view.
Here to comment, not settle your problem or anxiety.
Kill two birds with one stone, you guys need each other.
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